Today is a double poster!
One day, not too long ago, I was ironing one of Jake's white shirts in preparation to attend the temple. Well, first I laundered the entire load of whites. Then I hung up his shirt so that it could dry. As I was shaking it out a little, adjusting sleeves and things, it seemed like one sleeve was a little heavier than it should be. I just assumed his sleeve was still inside out on itself a little bit. Me, being the lazy one that I am, my first thought was that I would fix it later. I'm that lazy.
Many hours later, I pulled it down to iron it. I started on the back, because that's what you do. I did the back, then the front panels. As I was starting on one the arms, I remembered my previous laziness and began to unfold the cuff from itself. But even after noting the sleeve was straight, the sleeve still didn't feel right. This entire time, I'm only paying half attention to my ironing because of the movie I had put on. Muppet Christmas Carol. It's the only version I know. It's the only version I care to know. Read about it here and here, buy it here. There's nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone. Just so ya know.
Anyway, so as I realized the sleeve wasn't getting fixed with my half-hearted attentions, I turned my full attention to the shirt. As I examined it, I realized that there was something in the sleeve. As I pulled it out it was a pair of my underoos that had lodged themselves into the sleeve sometime during the warsh cycle. I pulled them out and they were still dripping wet. I threw them into the dryer, which was full of the dry whites. It's okay, because my roos needed to be dried, so we'll just do them all again.
This reminded me of an incident that left me embarrassed back in my high school years. As I've mentioned, I'm sometimes unexplainably lazy. Sometimes there's no reason for what I do. It's just what I do, and the way I am. Usually, only if I feel like the only one affected by the action is me. That's why I don't always pick up my q-tips when I miss the garbage, because who's gotta pick 'em up? Me.
So one day as I was running to get from bed, to first period PreCalculus, I jumped into a pair of jeans that were piled on my bedroom floor. Minutes after arriving to class, I had pulled books out of my bag and was trying to pay attention. But I was distracted to something that I hadn't noticed before. There was something wrong with my pants. It felt like my leg was rolled up on itself, or perhaps my bag was leaning against my leg. Nope. I rubbed my leg trying to figure out what was going on. I realized there was something inside my pants. Sometimes my socks would get stuck in my pants and when they came out of the laundry and my pants had dried, the socks were usually still wet. So I sorta assumed that's what was going on.
Not so. Not so at all! As I rummaged up my pant leg to get the rogue sock, I quickly realized it didn't quite feel like a sock. I pulled whatever it was out and looked at it for a brief moment. Then I realized what it was. It was a pair of my dirty underoos! Now my adult unders are very different from what my high school unders were. Now, they're white, long and very inconspicuous. In high school they were brightly colored, brightly patterned, and I really should have instantly guessed what I was holding in my hand. In my math class. Was anybody looking at me? Did anyone see what I was holding in my hand? How quickly were they going to start pointing and laughing? Did my friends in the class across the school already know what was going on? This was pre-texting and would have had to have been spread by mouth. But this was the sort of thing that would surely peak everyone's interest. "She just pulled a pair of dirty underwear out of her pants!! HaHa!" is what they would say.
I quickly rolled them into a small ball in my hand and took a quick glance around to see who was looking in my direction. The only person that was looking at me was my dear friend Jenn, who was laughing. Lucky for me Jenn is and was a much better person than I, for if I had seen anyone do this same thing, I may have just told some people. Not everyone, but a few of our closest friends in our little group. She was the best that I could have shared that moment with.
I think that was the last time I quickly jumped into a pair of dirty pants. Even today, I tend to shake them out when I have to wear a previous pair. This high school year was the same year that my dear brother Chris was especially mischievous. During that time I went to class to find dirty socks, towels, and a smashed, raw egg in my backpack. The sock wasn't even mine if I remember correctly. Also, that egg was the worst thing to try to clean out. Jenn helped me with that, too. Try to explain that to your teacher!
Maybe there's a lesson here. Don't be lazy.
One day, not too long ago, I was ironing one of Jake's white shirts in preparation to attend the temple. Well, first I laundered the entire load of whites. Then I hung up his shirt so that it could dry. As I was shaking it out a little, adjusting sleeves and things, it seemed like one sleeve was a little heavier than it should be. I just assumed his sleeve was still inside out on itself a little bit. Me, being the lazy one that I am, my first thought was that I would fix it later. I'm that lazy.
Many hours later, I pulled it down to iron it. I started on the back, because that's what you do. I did the back, then the front panels. As I was starting on one the arms, I remembered my previous laziness and began to unfold the cuff from itself. But even after noting the sleeve was straight, the sleeve still didn't feel right. This entire time, I'm only paying half attention to my ironing because of the movie I had put on. Muppet Christmas Carol. It's the only version I know. It's the only version I care to know. Read about it here and here, buy it here. There's nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone. Just so ya know.
Anyway, so as I realized the sleeve wasn't getting fixed with my half-hearted attentions, I turned my full attention to the shirt. As I examined it, I realized that there was something in the sleeve. As I pulled it out it was a pair of my underoos that had lodged themselves into the sleeve sometime during the warsh cycle. I pulled them out and they were still dripping wet. I threw them into the dryer, which was full of the dry whites. It's okay, because my roos needed to be dried, so we'll just do them all again.
This reminded me of an incident that left me embarrassed back in my high school years. As I've mentioned, I'm sometimes unexplainably lazy. Sometimes there's no reason for what I do. It's just what I do, and the way I am. Usually, only if I feel like the only one affected by the action is me. That's why I don't always pick up my q-tips when I miss the garbage, because who's gotta pick 'em up? Me.
So one day as I was running to get from bed, to first period PreCalculus, I jumped into a pair of jeans that were piled on my bedroom floor. Minutes after arriving to class, I had pulled books out of my bag and was trying to pay attention. But I was distracted to something that I hadn't noticed before. There was something wrong with my pants. It felt like my leg was rolled up on itself, or perhaps my bag was leaning against my leg. Nope. I rubbed my leg trying to figure out what was going on. I realized there was something inside my pants. Sometimes my socks would get stuck in my pants and when they came out of the laundry and my pants had dried, the socks were usually still wet. So I sorta assumed that's what was going on.
Not so. Not so at all! As I rummaged up my pant leg to get the rogue sock, I quickly realized it didn't quite feel like a sock. I pulled whatever it was out and looked at it for a brief moment. Then I realized what it was. It was a pair of my dirty underoos! Now my adult unders are very different from what my high school unders were. Now, they're white, long and very inconspicuous. In high school they were brightly colored, brightly patterned, and I really should have instantly guessed what I was holding in my hand. In my math class. Was anybody looking at me? Did anyone see what I was holding in my hand? How quickly were they going to start pointing and laughing? Did my friends in the class across the school already know what was going on? This was pre-texting and would have had to have been spread by mouth. But this was the sort of thing that would surely peak everyone's interest. "She just pulled a pair of dirty underwear out of her pants!! HaHa!" is what they would say.
I quickly rolled them into a small ball in my hand and took a quick glance around to see who was looking in my direction. The only person that was looking at me was my dear friend Jenn, who was laughing. Lucky for me Jenn is and was a much better person than I, for if I had seen anyone do this same thing, I may have just told some people. Not everyone, but a few of our closest friends in our little group. She was the best that I could have shared that moment with.
I think that was the last time I quickly jumped into a pair of dirty pants. Even today, I tend to shake them out when I have to wear a previous pair. This high school year was the same year that my dear brother Chris was especially mischievous. During that time I went to class to find dirty socks, towels, and a smashed, raw egg in my backpack. The sock wasn't even mine if I remember correctly. Also, that egg was the worst thing to try to clean out. Jenn helped me with that, too. Try to explain that to your teacher!
Maybe there's a lesson here. Don't be lazy.
2 comments:
Jenny, my friend. I totally had this same experience in 8th grade. It was also my math class. I can't remember the teachers name...short baldish man with glasses. You know, back when everyone used overhead projectors. Except I do believe that it was a pair of my little sisters underoos (as you call them). I quite like that name and think we might adopt it! :)
HAHAHA!! Oh Jenny thats AWESOME! One time in 9th grade I got to 3rd hour and felt something on my sleeve. I had a POPTART stuck to the sleeve (the elbow part) of my coat!!! So EMBARRASSING!
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